The Balance
by Tabitha of MoonAurora
Summary: Everything. Nothing. Light. Dark. Back and forth the pendulum swings. This is the way it has always been and the way it will always be. And the very thing that was always forgotten by the Jedi, by the Sith. For unbeknownst to them, or perhaps obscured by their arrogance, they are but petals fallen on the ever-flowing river of the Force.
1. Balance

A/N- Bear with me. I'm an adult with a full time job who does cosplay and ocassionally takes commissions. I also have two horses and a personal life, so my free time is pretty slim. If updates take a while I apologize. You can expect one or two a week.

And as a heads up, this will be extremely slow burn Reylo. If you've read any of my other stories, you'll already know I like to build all the characters and not just my pairing so it takes me longer to get to the romance part. I find this (at least in the past) tends to make people believe your world a little bit more. Afterall, life isn't just romance.

Disclaimer: I really have no business messing with the characters in Star Wars. Although, with the number of times I've gone to see "The Last Jedi," I might own part of the franchise.

Balance

It flows through everything, this energy, this Force. Pushing. Pulling. Slipping. Steadying. One hand gives, but the other takes. Stars swirling around the gaping throat of a black hole, dying as they were swallowed into nothingness. Dark gases coalescing into luminescent nebulas, birthing new stars that may one day harness rocks, they may, a day later, harbor life. As the child walks along the narrow beam between two rooftops, he wobbles left, and leans back to the right. A wildfire burns a village to all but embers. The people flee, but their homes are memories. A rainstorm washes away the black and a white flower springs from the ground when they return. Everything. Nothing. Light. Dark. Back and forth the pendulum swings. This is the way it has always been and the way it will always be. And the very thing that was always forgotten by the Jedi, by the Sith. For unbeknownst to them, or perhaps obscured by their arrogance, they are but petals fallen on the ever-flowing river of the Force.


	2. Snoke's Assassin

A/N- There are far more characters that play important roles in this story than are listed in the "characters" section. Its just impossible for me to pick the most important fours, so I put in pivotal characters instead.

 **Snoke's Assassin**

Twenty-four hours. That's all it had taken. In twenty-four hours, the Resistance had gone from four hundred or so members to thirty-three. Thirty-three souls packed like sardines into the tin can they all fondly referred to as the Millenium Falcon. Leia claimed they were reborn, that this was everything they needed, but how could anyone come back from this? She had faith in their courage, in their devotion to their cause. Now more than ever they had a real reason to fight, every one of their small Resistence tied in to someone they'd lost. But was that enough?

Rey stared at the hopelessly destroyed lightsaber in her hands. They were so equally matched, Ren and her. Snoke had said it, before he tortured her. Or was it after? Did it really matter when? She could feel the fire again, the consuming, searing pain that engulfed her as the Supreme Leader drew her memories of Luke from her mind like water from a well. He'd tug and release as she fought him, but the agony never ended. Until it did. And then he'd mocked her.

Rey shook her head and wiped the cold sweat from her forehead. He no longer mattered. Dead. Like so many that touched Kylo Ren. Would that be her fate too? She laughed, a sharp, single huff that echoed about the empty cockpit. Standing, she laid her broken saber on her empty chair and pulled a blanket around her shoulders.

She could have been with the Resistance instead. If she was going to leave Luke then why hadn't she just gone back to them? Perhaps she would have been able to save them. Perhaps, through her link with Kylo, she could have warned them that the First Order knew of the escaping transport ships. Perhaps they would have been able to move faster, get to Crait sooner. Instead of twenty-five ships of just under twenty souls lost, most could have been saved.

 _And therein lies your problem. You still think that by simply being there, things would have been changed._

Her inner voice sounded like Master Luke now, and her stomach wound in painful knots, echoing the ache that settled into her chest.

Only a month. She'd known him only a month, not even a month really, just slightly more than three weeks. Yet in some ways it seemed Rey'd known him her whole life. Between the stories of the fall of the Empire, and of the last remaining Jedi, she felt he'd been there, guiding her, all along. Certainly long before she knew anything of her own connection to the Force.

Of course, now she was acutely aware of her connection to it. It, flowing through her, over her, filling the air around her and in her lungs, humming through the metal of the Falcon, hovering on the faint scent of nerf stew that wafted from the galley earlier in the evening, tingling on her skin at the simplest of touches. Rey clenched her hand into a fist, closing her eyes. Most keenly she could sense it where it was no longer, and in those wounded by the absence of its secret keeper.

He had gone, completely at peace, filled with a purpose. She imagined it was the first time in fifteen years he had felt the way he did then. No longer mired in his mistake, his sacrifice lit the fire of rebellion anew, for while all seemed lost, and not one member of the Resistance was not laden with some degree of grief, they had all seen him stand before their enemy. They all now understood that they had a chance to grow into something greater, something stronger. And in their hearts, burned hope.

Rey was glad for it, yet she too grieved. There were so many things she had wanted to ask him, yet in her fury, in the betrayal she'd felt at his lies, at the loss of her childhood hero, she'd forgotten why she'd come to him. So deep was her empathy for Ben, she'd abandoned all chance to learn of the Force in favor of her own foolish quest. Well not all chance, ever the scavenger, she'd taken the tomes from the library before she left, but there were subtleties, life lessons, years of experience with the force, that no amount of text, ancient or not, could impart. Nor could they offer compassion, admonition, or encouragement. Though his greatest tool had been to reprimand her, there had been moments when she could feel his satisfaction in her progress through the Force and moments when she'd felt his appreciation for her outspokenness even as he corrected her for her lack of proper respect.

There, there it was. That emptiness. She pulled the blanket closer around her and gazed out the viewing window on the streaks of blue-white light that slipped by the ship as she glided through space at lightspeed. Losing Han Solo had hurt more, still hurt. It was a sharp wound and thinking of it was like prodding it with a cautery tool. There was something in knowing that it was Luke's choice that softened the blow.

Rey settled into Chewie's seat, gently extricating one of the porgs from the cables under the control console, and curled her legs under her. Then, like switching off a light, she was asleep.

The sun sizzled on her skin, awakening freckles from their slumber beneath the surface. A couple months away had been all it took for the brown spots to fade. The Resistance wouldn't be here long. This was a simple refueling and replenishing run. If they stayed still much longer than that word would reach the First Order, and they'd no longer have the benefit of relative anonymity on their side. Even on as remote and desolate a planet as Tatooine, they couldn't be too careful. Given its history as a hive of gangsters and smugglers, it would have been nice if there were honor among thieves.

Instead, the best of the citygoers were pickpockets and slaves, and the worst pedaled, gambled, and owned. And if there were ever a place to disappear, this was it. It was a large planet with ample room to get lost in the ever-changing landscape.

Poe Dameron sat at the wheel of the older model landspeeder and whooped as he punched it up to another gear. Rey grinned as Finn let out a yelp. He grabbed the back of Poe's seat and growled out.

"Poe! Do you think maybe we could _not_ die before we get to Mos Espa?" the former stormtrooper glanced at Rey, "I mean even Rey thinks this is fast, don't you Rey?"

She almost left him hanging with some quip about how she didn't know what he was talking about, but then she caught his expression. His dark eyes were wide and pleading, his hands held on to Poe's seat in a grip so tight they actually shook. With a sigh, Rey took pity on him.

"We should probably save some fuel for whoever buys this thing. Every little bit counts."

Deep down though, her fingers itched to take the wheel from Poe. Her land speeder on Jakku had been clunky, outdated, and modified in such a way that its inefficiency rivalled that of stormtrooper weapons training excercises. This speeder, though outdated in its own right, was far superior and though they had been going fast already, she could tell there was more its engine could handle. And from his groan, Poe did too.

"When did you get so responsible?" he quipped, though Rey sensed that he actually agreed with her.

Rey shrugged and pulled the light headscarf she wore about her neck up over her nose and pinned it tight. The ramshackle dirt and clay buildings of Mos Espa grew ever nearer on the horizon. When they finally skimmed to a stop outside its narrow streets, Rey felt a small thrill of excitement building in her. This was her first city. In her 19 years, she'd seen Niima Outpost, Maz's palace on Takodona and Starkiller base, but never a city. Jakku wasn't known for them.

They left the speeder with its new Kubaz owner and pocketed the few credits. As she had mentioned, every little bit counted. Even when they sold the speeder for far less than it was worth. Poe cast it a wistful glance.

The city itself was a poorly woven tapestry of wealthy ignorance and abject negligence. There were, of course, people here and there who were just getting through their lives as well as they could. Moisture farmers from out on the dune seas and manufacturers of art and mechanical parts, but by and large, Rey was immediately put off by the closeness, corruption, and malice that plagued the streets. Made all the more potent by the impressions it left on the Force, Rey closed herself off to all but the faintest touch of these people's suffering before it overwhelmed her.

This, after all was finished, and they'd found some way to defeat the First Order, she would see about fixing this.

Suffering and pain was not new to her. She'd been a scavenger, poorly fed, growing up on scraps from the time she was five or six. _They sold you for drinking money_. Rey shuddered, an involuntary spasm that ran the length of her torso as she remembered his words, so blunt and dispassionate in his voice, tightly controlled, just barely holding back anger.

Something touched her arm and she flinched.

"You okay?" Finn stood at her elbow, a frown twisting his lips into an almost comical pout.

Rey shook her head, though it helped little to remove the memory from her mind, "Yeah, yeah. I just… there are so many people."

She gestured at the crowd gathered around a vendor selling bracelets and baubles. He haggled harshly over the prices, refusing to budge even when the price he insisted his items were worth, were rejected by each buyer. Looking closer, she was glad these people weren't biting. The objects he was selling were made of melted scrap instead of 'pure Coruscanti steel' as he claimed. Rey bit her tongue as they passed. It wouldn't do to draw too much attention to themselves. If they didn't get these supplies from their contact, it wouldn't matter how hidden the Resistance tried to stay, they wouldn't make it much further.

Mos Espa was large than it looked, or perhaps it was just larger than any place Rey had ever experienced. She wasn't lost, however. If she concentrated, she could have lead them back every turn they had taken on their journey into the heart of the city, but their goal wasn't to return the way they had come. Anonimity was still key, and retracing their steps, for any reason, could have lasting repercussions.

In the shade of one of the stucco buildings, tucked back in an alley, they paused to drink some water and get away from prying eyes. Tatooine was hotter than Jakku, Rey observed as she picked the sweat-stained linen away from her skin. Probably due to the binary suns that held it in orbit. As hot as she was, she imagined all but those who called the planet home would be poisoned by their rays without such extensive clothing.

Poe shoved the canteen back into her hands, "Come on, we've gotta keep you strong."

Rey pursed her lips, "Me? What about the two of you. Finn looks like he's about to melt into a puddle, and you're… well,"

She pointed where the rough linen of his shirt was soaked through with sweat under the bag he carried. The pilot gestured lamely and uttered a few noncommittal syllables before he shrugged. As if to punctuate her comment, Finn leaned heavily against the wall, sliding to the sandy road. Rey grabbed the canteen from Poe and knelt before Finn.

"Here," She placed a hand on her friend's shoulder, comfortingly and then looked back up at Poe, "I'm the least of your concerns."

Poe conceded and settled next to Finn, biting the inside of his lip. No one seemed to take notice of the three of them huddled in the alleyway.

When she was convinced, Finn had drunk enough water to keep him going, they set off through the city again. Exhaust vents from cooling systems within the buildings did little to tamp down the growing afternoon heat, but they were glad of them when they finally slipped into their contact's small dwelling on the far side of the city.

The edge of Mos Espa was dotted with multileveled housing complex constructed from the same sand-stucco mixture as the rest of the city. The units were small, one room with a refresher attached, but the people that she saw seemed thankful to live in them. They had to duck through the small doors and there were no windows into these little homes, no doubt to defend against sandstorms, but even in the semi-darkness, Rey found something about them comfortable. She felt her hands tingle as she brushed against the wall and at once sensed the force humming through the walls. These homes were old, some of the oldest structures of the city and they held the faintest touches of memory. Only on Ahch-To had she felt anything older.

"Let me see it."

The man approached them from the corner of the room set up as a galley. The glimmer of the few small lights in the room reflected off the space where his hair had fled his forehead. He was neither old, nor young, resting in the comfortable hallway of middle-age that left a person looking both healthy and wise. There were wrinkles as the corners of his eyes and deep lines creased the corners of his mouth from nostril to chin. He extended a hand forward, palm up, expectant.

"You're Marek?" Rey pressed.

He raised an eyebrow, "Proof first, names later."

Poe pulled out a small medallion emblazoned with a red Resistance symbol along with the credits with which they had been sent. The worn red enamel had chipped away, revealing smoke-blackened silver beneath. 'Marek,' Rey assumed, turned the emblem in his hands a few times before handing it back to Poe.

"I presume the general's death has been difficult for the Resistance. Especially now that you have so few members." 'Marek' slipped his hands into the pockets of the bantha hide jacket he wore about his shoulders.

"The general's wh…"

Poe grabbed Finn's shoulder in a tight grip and fixed him with a forbidding stare. It was interesting to watch him work. As he responded to Marek in the affirmative, Rey observed how at ease the commander was with this kind of subterfuge. She wondered how long he had been with the Resistance and how often he'd been on missions like this.

It had been almost two weeks since they fled from Crait on the Falcon. Two weeks of popping between various outer and middle rim planets, slipping behind highly metallic moons to confuse First Order sensors, rationing supplies so carefully. They scarcely ate more than once a day. The only thing in full supply was frustration. But, where frustration was left behind, Rey found herself hiding away in the secret spots of the Falcon only she, and probably Leia, knew, or, when it was her turn, flying the ship.

In normal circumstances, two weeks was plenty of time to get a vague impression of someone, but packed together as they were, friendships developed in much quicker order. Poe, already friends with Finn, was easy to get along with, quick to a joke, and had an extensive knowledge of the inner workings of ships. Rey spent plenty of time picking his brain on each of the ships that had belonged to the Resistance.

Then there was Finn and his new friend Rose Tico. Rey hadn't actually met Rose yet. She was still in the somewhat limited sickbay on the Falcon, along with half a dozen others who'd been injured in the battle of Crait. Rose was in a medically induced coma. This, Rey had been told, was older medicine for this kind of injury, but it was all they could do until they were able to find a developed world friendly to the Resistance. When she had a bit of time, and Finn was there, they would sit together and tell Rose about their journey through the stars. Finn felt responsible for her injuries. He had confided in her one night when she'd found him pacing a hole in the floor outside the med bay. Locked in the cockpit on Rey's watch, he'd explained the whole situation leading up to her saving his life. Rey would have been lying if she said she didn't feel a bit jealous, but it was neither the time nor the place for such ridiculous entanglements. Regardless, Finn was a dear, dear friend, one she would be loath to let anything come between them.

Presently, Marek gestured for them to sit while he shuffled to the galley and collected some food for them. He handed them back most of their credits along with a set of coordinates.

"You'll need the rest of these for when you get there. I've arranged for you to pick up a moisture tanker two clicks out of the city. You'll be headed to the North East for several standard hours. When you get to the Salt Cliffs, you'll see a group of caves. Walk past the ones that are easy to see and you'll find Battah and his men. Pay them this, and you can take whatever you need."

They finished their meal, relishing in the real flavor of it, and stood.

"We won't forget this Marek," Poe shook their contact's hand.

"Thanks," echoed Finn.

"Yes, thank you, Marek," Rey offered him a small smile.

Pulling up their linen scarves, Poe and Finn ducked back out the door. Just as she was about to follow Marek's hand caught her arm, stopping her. She froze, uncertain what he might want. Her instincts had been honed sharp as a scavenger, alone in the desert.

"You're her aren't you?" the man asked.

She turned to meet his narrowed gaze.

"Her?" she feigned ignorance.

His eyes darkened. Marek wasn't one to suffer fools, "The one the Resistance has that is so powerful in the Force. The one I've heard killed Supreme Leader Snoke."

Rey opened and closed her mouth. So that's what the galaxy thought had happened. She supposed he would have had to have told the First Order that. Kylo couldn't very well have told them the truth or he would be dead now. Even with the connection closed, as it were, Rey was fairly certain she would have felt if he'd died. She bit her lip.

"Yeah. I guess I am," she replied quietly and then, to end the conversation before he endowed her with any more power than the galaxy already thought she had, she added, "May the Force be with you." and slipped out the door.

a/n- I've gone a different route than most of the stories I've read on here. Oddly, there seems to be a theme developing where each post TLJ story goes about the same way. Well I assure you, that is not going to happen. In fact, I am dedicated to NOT having that happen, partly because I refuse to write the plot and characters the same way as everyone else and partly because, I have a fairly different idea of how this story should go. For once, I do have a vague idea of how I want to end this story as well, so that's a step up on most everything I write. I can't promise a chapter every day but I'm trying to get out a couple a week if my luck holds. Please, please read and review. I love constructive criticism and I would also love to know how I'm doing with this world. I am far less familiar with this Galaxy Far Far Away than I do with the other universes in which I write. I would also love to know how I'm doing with theses characters. They're all very different from the characters I am used to writing, Rey especially. And given that she's the main character here, let me know how I'm doing there.

As always, my pen is yours,

Tabitha of MoonAurora


	3. The Mistake

The Mistake

These small housing units on the edge of Mos Espa were bordered by a sheer cliff and a great stone wall. While the topography no doubt provided a beautiful view at sunrise, it was inconvenient for anyone trying to travel as quickly as possible from one section of the east flank of the city to the other. Rey took the lead, wending her way through the streets as though she'd been there before. She moved quickly and quietly, though not so fast as to arouse suspicion.

 _You're running_. Her inner voice quipped. _Running away from your problems will accomplish nothing._

With a sigh, Rey slowed, wishing at least she had her staff with her for some comfort, or BB-8. He was far too recognizable, she'd pointed out at a meeting. Not more than a few months ago the First Order had broadcast to every corner of the galaxy that they were looking for a droid like him and on a backwater, lawless planet like Tatooine, anyone who saw him now, would assume they were Resistance by default and therefore likely turn them in for the bounty. If they were captured again, there would be no escape for any of them.

Especially not for her, not now Kylo had told the galaxy she'd murdered the Supreme Leader. She swallowed hard. Rey hadn't thought of that when she'd woken and stolen Snoke's escape vessel. When she'd first come too, half of Luke's lightsaber lying a meter away in a pool of blood, her first thoughts had been of survival. She'd grabbed the broken weapon from the ground and scrabbled about his throne room for the other piece. When at last she'd allowed herself a glimpse of Kylo, she almost wished she hadn't.

All of her grief, her disappointment, her betrayal washed over her in a wave that buckled her knees. For a moment, holding the broken lightsaber in her hands, she fought with herself, with that tiny spark of hope that smoldered inside her, for even now, she couldn't let it go. At once, she wanted to go to him, and yet he had wounded her so deeply with his dispassionate admonition, _Let it all die._ For only then did she realize how fully she'd misunderstood what she'd seen in the Force when they'd touch. It wasn't the future, it was a desire, a wish, a childish hope. How could she have been so foolish? She rose and left him there, lying before his dismembered master's dead glare.

A child cried out, sobs laying heavy the hot air. A crack. More sobs. Rey stopped and looked about the square. Poe, close on her heels, bumped into her shoulder. She held up a hand. Finn drew to a stop behind them. He too scanned the area for the source of the cries.

The scream broke the air again echoing over the rooftops. Rey closed her eyes, drew in a deep breath and reached out with the Force. She sped down alleys, through windows, and pushed aside groups of people who staggered at the sudden breeze. Then she finally found her. At the other side of the marketplace and little girl, dark haired and silver-eyed, screamed as a Saurin beat her with an electrified whip. A shattered pot lay on the ground next to her.

Rey bolted from where she stood. She heard the end of Poe and Finn's plea to her not to as she leapt over one of the merchants tables, and darted through a crowd of onlookers to reach the girl. Grabbing the pole from another merchant's tent, she jumped before the Saurin. His next lash connected with the wooden rod and it exploded, sending the small crowd that had stopped to stare at the disturbance fleeing from the debris. He gave a roar and drew back the lash again. Without a weapon, she acted on instinct, blowing him back away from her into the wall.

Blood dripped into Rey's eye as a hush fell over the marketplace. The Saurin slumped to the ground unconscious. The linen cowl she had so carefully placed over her head, obscuring her features had fallen away in the blowback of her Force shove, revealing her face to everyone standing before her.

"Kriff."

Hadn't she been the one to say how important it was they stayed anonymous? Wasn't she just thinking about how bad it would be if she were exposed? Poe and Finn emerged from the crowd, panting, their eyes wide. She pulled the fabric back over her face as Finn jerked his hand toward the street closest to them.

Instead of following, Rey turned and offered her hand to the little girl. The child's silver eyes had dried and little streaks of salt ran down her face. Mouth open in surprise, her tiny little hand clung to Rey's as the older girl pulled her up from the ground. As the crowd broke into murmurs, and a someone began to shout, she bent to the little girl's height and said what she had always wished someone had said to her when she endured the torturous hand of her master's whip.

"Run, and may the Force be with you."

With that she spun on her own heel and bolted. With another little push of the Force she broke through the crowd catching up with her compatriots. In the afternoon sun, they fled through the city. Each time they thought they'd might be able to stop, there was another sign that news travelled faster in Mos Espa than they could run.

 _That, was unwise._ Her inner voice said, every bit as sarcastic and pointed as Luke's had been.

She shook her head and kept running. Her breath came sharply, the heat and exhaustion driving needles into her. Rey cast her gaze to her friends. They weren't much better off. Sweat and blood dripped into her eyes, burning. She blinked it away. The commercial shipyard wasn't too far away. With any luck they could slip into their tanker and maybe she could Force shield it long enough for them to avoid any prying eyes.

The rerouted again, diving down another alley to avoid the nets and volley of shots from what were no doubt bounty hunters. When finally the shipyard came into sight, Rey breathed a sigh of relief. They slipped between the land cruisers, hoping the girth of the tankers would obscure their feet enough to hid them from sight while they found the right one.

"How do we know which one it is?" Finn asked, checking the lock on the one nearest him.

Poe pulled out the medallion he'd given to Marek and flipped it over. On the bottom was a piece of paper with a simple, five-petalled flower on it.

"The truck will have this on it somewhere."

Shouts came from the city behind them and they all crouched lower. Panting, they shuffled through the aisles until finally they found a cruiser marked with the symbol. As unobtrusively as possible, they slipped into the seats and lay back. As the suns sank below the horizon, Rey reached deep within her and used the force to make it appear as though the tanker was empty.

The sounds of gasping breath filled the air around the three Resistance fighters. Rey's heart sank. It was foolish, so foolish. She'd seen herself in that little girl and reacted without thinking. Finn poked her and shot her one of his trademark, wide-eye, forward clenched jaw looks that always meant he was frustrated or anger. In the silence in the dark, she tried to apologize, too afraid to make any actual noise. Poe, however, did not seem to be.

The elbow that dug into her ribs was none too kind, but she didn't even have time to grimace before the pilot shouted at her.

"You have to be kriffing kidding me, Rey!"

Rey flushed, sitting up and wrapping her hands around her knee, "I know, Poe, I know."

But he wasn't finished.

"Ever since we started this mission we've talked about how important it is to stay hidden and now this."

"I know."

"I mean it's one thing for someone to recognize Finn or I, but kriff, Rey," He threw his hands in the air, "You? There aren't enough force users in the galaxy for you to hide. There isn't a single person in that marketplace, Hell, probably all of Mos Espa now, who doesn't know that we were there."

"Poe!"

"By morning there will be stormtroopers all over Tatooine! What were you thinking?"

Anger bursting forth, Rey pushed him back, "I wasn't! I didn't think, I acted. You don't think I know how important this is. I'm the one who's been reminding everyone. But I couldn't just let him beat her like that. Not when no one even offered to help. No one lifted a finger, Poe. Tell me honestly, Flyboy, what would you have done?"

Poe, anger still flashing through his eyes, visibly deflated.

She grabbed his shoulder, taking a deep breath, "For what its worth, I'm sorry. It was reckless and stupid, and I should never have done it. It won't happen again."

The three sat in silence again for several minutes and then Finn spoke up, "If there will be stormtroopers here in the morning, we have to get those supplies and get back to the Falcon tonight. That's not a ship the First Order will forget."

They nodded in agreement. As much as they had been warned about Tusken Raiders, scavengers and even worse roaming the Tatooine desert after the fall of the night, they had little choice. Keeping all of the lights on the tanker off, they carefully and quietly navigated their way out of the shipyard and into the open desert. It was only when they'd reached the bottom of the rise with the light of two moons in the sky that they turned the lights back on and took off as fast as the old cruiser could carry them.

"Finn to Falcon. Come in Falcon."

Zipping across the blue-tinged desert, Rey turned back to Finn as he tried to raise the Falcon across their coms. The former stormtrooper opened his mouth to repeat his signal, when finally Liutenient Connix answered.

"Falcon here, Finn. Wasn't expecting a call from you tomorrow. Everything alright?" Connix's worry was palpable.

Finn paused for a long moment before answering, "Uuhhhh, yeah, everything is fine. We just hit a slight snag in the plan and well need to move up pickup to as soon as possible."

Poe grabbed the com from him, "Connix, if we aren't several lightyears away from here by morning, we'll be painting the desert red."

Connix cleared her throat, "Sure thing, Commander. I'll start moving us into position for rendezvous."

"Luitenient Connix," Rey reached forward and grabbed the com, "It would probably be better if the Falcon met us within a few clicks of the drop point. In this tanker, it will take a lot of time to get to our original rendezvous and we don't have time."

"Roger that, Rey. Keep the link open. We can track your position through it."

A few clicks into the desert had been an understatement. Finn snoozed in his seat, faintly snoring as the moons moved through the sky, now almost directly overhead of their cruiser. Rey, for the eighth time, offered to spell Poe and for the eighth time, he refused. The fighter pilot was tired, his shoulders sagged a little and every once in a while, he would yawn, but he was resolved to complete this mission. Rey crossed her arms and glanced out across the landscape again, expecting more of the same.

She must have fallen asleep, for in the next moment, she was aboard a starship staring out a gaping hole into space itself. She gasped at the emptiness of it, the vastness. There was something to be said for seeing the galaxy laid out before her through the glass windows of a ship, a security. It was an altogether different experience to realize, one wrong step, one equipment malfunction and she would be swallowed up by the vacuum of space.

"Supreme Leader."

Rey's eyes widened, and she sucked a sharp breath through her nose so hard it almost hurt. Spinning on her heel, she spotted him standing a few yards down from her. He hadn't seen her, and for whatever reason, he didn't even seem aware they'd connection had awoken. Of course, she'd never been able to see his surroundings before, or hear anyone else's voice either. There was a great deal that was different about this experience.

"What do you want?" Kylo snapped at the officer, who visibly flinched.

Color drained from his face, the officer replied, "The star destroyer _Harbinger_ has reached the Arkanis system and will be at Tatooine within minutes."

Rey fought the urge to pinch herself. This was not the time or place or… whatever to be tied to him. They would have to move up their plans. The escape window would be narrow at best.

"Good," he let out a deep breath, "Bring the girl to me alive."

"But, Sir, surely…"

Rey knew that voice. The pale countenance of General Hux emerged from a contingent of storm troopers running repair tasks in the destroyed hanger. His arrogance was diminished, Rey noted, belayed by frustration.

Kylo rounded on him, "I said alive."

With measured tone, Hux replied, "Of course, Supreme Leader."

"I will relay the instructions, Supreme Leader, General."

The officer who'd delivered the original message bowed to both of them and then fairly ran from their presence. The glare Kylo shot Hux could have melted the bulkheads of the most staunch starbase.

"Is this really wise, Supreme Leader. By your own word, she killed Snoke and overpowered yourself. I only wonder if it might be better…"

Hand on his lightsaber, Kylo replied, "Question my orders in front of my men again and it will be the last time you ever question anything."

Rey heard a faint hum and realized the lightsaber had partially activated. This was the Kylo Ren she expected. Vicious, manipulative, cruel, and she found no comfort in that confirmation. He truly had played her, a pawn in his quest for power and revenge. Alive… Why did he want her alive? It could be for no good reason, she was certain.

Hux, sufficiently cowed for the moment, though Rey very much doubted it would be for long, walked away, quickly. With his hands clasped behind his back in an attempt to convey casuality, he looked more like a chastised goose than the ranking general of the First Order.

The Supreme Leader crossed his arms and turned back to the stars flying by the _Supremacy_. However, his observations never returned to the gash in his ship, for it caught her own. Rey froze where she stood, mouth open in surprise for she almost had thought he wouldn't be able to see her. Perhaps she'd hoped this was something different than their prior meetings, and it was, yet a part remained the same.

The eyes that met hers were not the blackened visage of Kylo Ren but the soft, broken gaze of Ben Solo. Even at this distance, she heard him say her name out of shock, so quiet it was barely even a whisper. Rey couldn't breathe, fear stiffening her limbs. His anger always boiled near the surface and she was weaponless and unable to use the Force through this bond. He felt betrayed, abandoned again, by her no less. Just as she did by him.

Rey barely had time to register this before his eyes hardened and the Ben she'd spoken to so may times during her training vanished to be replaced by the new Supreme Leader. His fury slammed into her with the heat of an inferno.

Rey raised a hand before her, calm, collected.

"Ben, I…"

"Rey," Finn's voice echoed out of the blackness, "Rey!"

Sitting up straighter, Rey had enough time to register that they'd stopped before she remembered.

"They're nearly here," She warned, grabbing Finn's shoulder, "They've got a ship in the sector already."

Finn and Poe exchanged a glance from where they stood before the opening of a cave. _Wait…_ A great blanket of relief settled over her. They'd made it.

Finn grabbed her other shoulder, pulling her focus back to him, "Rey, who's nearly here."

"The First Order."

She grabbed the com from the front pocket of his shirt and pressed the open button, "Falcon, this is Rey. We've reached the Rendezvous. You need to meet us now. The First Order has already reached the Archanis system. We have minutes. Wake every person who isn't injured and have them ready to help load supplies."

Silence echoed from the other end of the line. Rey's heart pounded wildly in her chest.

"Falcon, this is Rey, do you read me."

Empty air. Her breaths came as shallow gasps.

"Rey to the…"

"We read you, Rey."

Leia's voice was a melody to Rey's ears. For a brief moment, she clutched the com-link to her chest.

"General, thank the god. We need the Falcon here right away. The First Order is nearly upon us. We have minutes."

"Chewie will have us there five minutes ago, Rey." Leia reassured, "Now take a deep breath and finish your mission."

The silence on the other end of the com was welcome, this time. Rey set it back on the seat of the moisture tanker and dropped over the side of the open cab onto the rocky ground below. Their introduction to Batta was not steeped in the ceremony they'd experienced with Marek. From his heavy boots to his shaved head, Batta oozed confidence and aggression, the perfect mercenary. His men had already piled their supplies at the mouth of the cave and none even acknowledged the three Resistance fighters as they approached. Only Batta strode forward. He held out his hand, palm up, just as Marek had.

"Credits," he barked.

Rey narrowed her eyes, "You don't want to know who we are first?"

His ice blue eyes fixed her in a stare that curled her insides, "Does it matter, girl? You have the money?"

Poe pulled it from his bag and held it out. Batta pulled out one of the coins and bit it.

"You gave me my money. I will give you your supplies. Better not to know who you are for sure."

With that, he turned and left them, counting his money as he walked back into the cave. Poe shrugged, surprisingly clam, considering what might happen if the Falcon didn't arrive soon enough. Rey leaned back against the supply crates and let out a deep sigh. The panic she'd first felt when the bond ended ebbed away leaving her shoulders and head throbbing.

The Falcon's engines whined, shaking loose stones from the salt cliffs as it slipped into the canyon and stopped. Rey waved at Chewie in the cockpit as the gangway lowered. He never set down the landing gear, maintaining his pitch and yaw manually to allow them to load what they could. The remaining, uninjured resistance fighters formed a line from the ship to them and together they loaded as much cargo as possible before they heard the telltale boom of the star destroyer entering hyperspace into orbit.

She began to usher the fighters back onto the Falcon.

"Go, go. Forget the rest of it."

Around her, the soldiers rushed to take whatever they had left in their hands, glancing skyward every blink. Poe and Finn struggled to bring the heaviest of the crates toward the ship. On the container's side was a blue tear drop. Reaching deep inward, Rey concentrated on the box, lifting it just enough that they could run while they carried it up the gangway and into the entry. Checking one last time that no one was left, she ran up the ramp as well and punched the button to close it.

"Chewy, get us out of here!" she yelled.

Just a few AU/hr short of hyperdrive, the ship launched directly upward. Despite being used to this phenomenon, having travelled with both Han and Chewie for a while, Rey found herself thrown backward from where she stood and meeting the hard metal floor with a resounding thud. _Get to the guns, get to the guns, get to the guns…_ She was on her feet in seconds and slid down the ladder into the lower gun. A slew of TIE fighters swarmed from the star destroyer after them. Four fell to Rey's shots before Chewie engaged the hyperdrive and then, like that, they were gone.

A/N- I hope you all enjoyed the action in this one. I'd like to take a chance to thank all who have followed and favorited this story. It means a lot. Also, O would love to hear from you so if you have the time, please leave a review.


	4. Hidden

Hidden

It didn't take long for Leia to find her. Sitting in her chair in the cockpit and enjoying the companionable silence Chewie frequently offered, Rey hadn't made a great effort to hide herself. She had simply hoped to stay away from the general long enough to compose herself in the wake of the botched mission. Guilt still needled at her stomach.

"Rey."

The former princess' voice was soft, but probing as she stood, in the doorway, back poker straight despite the cane she now relied on to steady herself. Rey set the autopilot, for tonight, she was alone. Leia's gaze was every bit as questioning as her voice, dark eyes peering into Rey as she rose from the chair. When she met Rey's eyes, however, the question's fled Leia's replaced by silent understanding.

"General I-"

Leia held up a hand, "I don't need an apology, Rey. Poe told me what happened. He says you are fully cognizant of the dangers to which we were all exposed in light of your actions."

Rey's eyes fell and she shifted, "Yes, ma'am."

"Then I don't think there is any need to discuss it further."

"I-" the former scavenger stopped herself from arguing, for there was nothing to argue. It was a reflex, these defensive words that welled inside her, and she had no need for them now. She could see it in Leia's eyes, firm but understanding, and wondered, not for the first time, how anyone who called her mother could ever become Kylo Ren.

A companionable silence filled the space as, instead of leaving, Leia shed the cloak of her position and moved to Chewie's seat. The older woman muttered under her breath and brushed some hair from the leather chair before she settled into it. In spite of her previous shame, a soft laugh escaped Rey, and she returned to her post at the helm.

An hour passed, then two, as the Resistance's two pillars of hope watched the long streaks of hyperdrive stars stream by the window. When they were approaching the third, Rey glanced over at the princess, veteran of so many battles, and saw that though she leaned her hand against her cheek in a decidedly distant and relaxed gesture, the lines of her forehead were tight, her eyes lost in the shadows of thought. Perhaps Leia was using the cockpit as a soft escape as well.

There had been a time, not long ago, when Rey was convinced these people were nothing but legends, tall tales passed to scavengers by passing merchants and junk brokers. The Rebel Alliance, brave souls confronting the tyranny of an Empire, lead by a young Jedi, a princess, and a smuggler. It was as far-flung and idea as ever leaving Jakku had felt at the time. So unlikely a trio of people would never have met, but she had liked to tell herself it was true. At times, stories of the Alliance made sleepless nights less dark.

The truth was somehow both more and less than she had expected. Her heroes became living, breathing people with which she interacted. Han took her under his wing, impressed by her crafty flying and her knowledge of mechanics. Luke. She had loved his legend so dearly: a boy raised in the middle of nowhere a desert, mired in hot sands and thankless work while all the rest of his friends left to journey the stars, fighting for a cause in which they believed. It had seemed a tale written just for her, and he her kindred spirit. Something to kindle a fire of hope deep within her. A part of her had broken when she knew the truth. His betrayal of Ben tore to shreds what little remained of the child that still believed in the myth. He had become so real, so tangible in that moment. True failure was only in allowing your mistakes to overpower you, rule your every move.

And now, here she sat, in peaceful silence with the closest thing to a mother she had ever had. She tried not to feel that way, but Kylo had been right, her weakness was searching, always searching and waiting for a family that would never return to her. Taking into her heart the people around her that showed her kindness was instinct, light a thirsty man wandering the desert who'd finally found wster, for it was new, and desperately needed. Her stomach clenched.

Leia was all that was left. Losing her felt inevitable too. Was it a premonition or simply the culmination of her experiences in this war? Rey didn't know. What she did know was that they were certainly not going to make it any easier for themselves to win this fight if they kept jumping around the galaxy.

"We'll settle as soon as I can identify an appropriately hidden base."

Rey jumped, turning to her companion. More surprising than the raspy utterance was the content of the statement. Meeting Leia's gaze, she realized the older woman had, at least in some capacity, read her mind. It was easy to forget Leia was as strong with the Force as her brother had been, for she used it rarely.

Determined to be helpful, Rey supplied, "Alliance bases were well fortified. Or a well populated planet? We could hide in plain sight."

She greatly disliked that idea. The crowds on the Falcon were enough and while she would enjoy sometime visiting the great city planet of Coruscant, she would rather do so unconcerned that each face in the crowd might mean her end.

"My search has been of early Rebel bases that were on quiet, secluded moons. The trouble isfinding one I never visited myself."

The general ran a finger over the gold ring on her hand, wiping grit from the twin blue stones that adorned it. Rey frowned, following the motion before realization blossomed within her. Presumably, there were stories the public did not know. Stories too seemingly insignificant or uninteresting to spread with the defeat of Emperor Palpatine. Stories a woman would only really share when suddenly reminded of a memory, perhaps in the evenings with her family. Stories that had the names of people and places attached.

It had been three decades since General Leia Organa had visited those worlds. Rey couldn't see into her mind, as Leia had hers, not clearly, but she sensed the swirl of faces, places, battles that filled the general's mind and wondered how she'd ever managed to keep any of it straight in the first place.

"Perhaps, Poe and I might help? Obviously, we don't know where you've been, but we can identify places that might work best. Moons that orbit planets with a metallic ionosphere. Perhaps, ones around gas giants with many moons? Either would confuse sensors, make us invisible."

Leia pursed her lips, and Rey worried perhaps her offer had seemed too solicitous. After all, the general, despite being a diplomat and her years working with others, was prone to a sometimes unyielding self-sufficiency. It was a quality with which Rey could empathize greatly. Poe and Finn's doting on Tatooine had needled at her temper. However, much Leia might have felt this was her responsibility, she finally nodded.

"Alright," The older woman rose, grasping Rey's shoulder, "But I won't see either of you before 0700. You both need your rest."

Rey nodded up at her and then her eyes fell to her lap. Alone once more, she leaned back, letting the universe, the Force, flow by her, over her, through her.

There were only two tiny bunks in the medical bay of the _Millenium Falcon_. It was not meant to house a crew of this size. The rest of the half dozen wounded were packed into the little room on cots propped up by supply crates. Rey winced at the awkward angle one soldier's legs stuck out from his side. Try though she might to become more used to such injuries, she had a sneaking suspicion she was fighting a losing battle. Shuddering, she turned her focus to the leather-jacket garbed man in the corner. Finn sat next to Rose's bed, that same puzzled, uncomfortable, concerned expression he wore every time he was with her contorting his face.

"Hey," Rey called softly, leaning against the wall next to Rose's bed, a shy smile lighting her features.

He looked up in surprise, "Rey. I thought you and Poe were on assignment."

His jaw tightened, and he straightened his back a bit more. His jealousy at being left out of their planning was as transparent as his guilt over Rose's injury.

"We're almost done with it. By tomorrow we'll have a course of action. We thought it best to take the evening."

She and Poe worked fairly well together professionally. He'd forgiven her already for her screw up on Tatooine. It seemed he didn't hold a grudge for very long on much else either. He did, however, inform her that she could be tactless at times when she really cared about something. Rey was keeping the name of the planet on which they had decided quiet, though she hated keeping it from Finn. They were too vulnerable and too few for any further mistakes on their part to jeopardize their journey to the new base.

Changing the subject, she inclined her head toward Rose, "How is she?"

Finn glanced at the small mechanic turned Resistance Fighter and shrugged, "She'd still stable. No one thinks she's going to wake up anytime soon, though. The medic said once we settle somewhere, we'll have a better idea of how she's doing. We just don't have the equipment on this ship."

He rose and pulled Rose's blanket up, "Come on. I need some food."

Rey smiled and followed him out of the med bay, pausing only to glance back at the comatose Rose. The girl's scratches and scrapes were mostly healed. All that remained were the yellow bruises and the deeper injuries, hidden to the untrained eye. For Finn's sake, she truly hoped former mechanic healed. And for the Resistance.

At the center of the ship lay the "mess." The once open room with a dejarik board in one corner and a table in the other was now packed with large shipping crates and benches. People milled around between twelve hour shifts of weapons repairs, ship's maintenance, and tactical, biding their time to keep their boredom and frustration at bay. They'd had hope to begin with, and all still did, but Rey could feel the doubt as well. Two and a half weeks on the run with no one but themselves in a ship that seemed smaller each day was taking its toll on the resolve of the Resistance.

Rey went to the galley, nestled through a door to the right side of the mess, while Finn scouted out two seats for them. It was busy this time of the evening and the hum of voices made each individual conversation indistinct and muddy. She sidestepped one of the remaining fighter pilots carrying three trays of food in his arms as she stepped through the door. Her focus followed his progress back to the table where his friends sat.

"Rey. Long time, no see," Poe, standing behind the little island in the center of the galley, winked.

She had been surprised to learn that Poe, fighter pilot extraordinaire, loved to cook. Devoid of X-wings to fly, he spent the majority of his on-duty hours in the galley, that is, when he wasn't with Rey and Leia trying to find the Resistance a new world on which to hide. With the poor ingredients they had available to them on the _Falcon,_ he had little way to indulge his hobby. Reconstituted rations were nothing special, and even with a few spices, were impossible to make wholly appetizing, but Poe did his best to provide, at the very least, the affectations of a gourmet meal by arranging them "just so" on the trays.

She smiled and pointed to a couple of the packets, "Not enough time if you ask me."

Poe's mouth opened and he pressed a hand to his heart before placing the packets carefully on the tray.

"They told me Jedi were nice." The pilot pushed the food toward her.

A grin split Rey's face and then morphed into a mock-serious line, "Whoever this 'they' is lied to you."

She grabbed the trays from the counter, "Finn and I are out in the mess if you have a moment later."

Poe nodded his head pointedly at the line of people that had formed behind her, "I'll get right on that."

Chuckling to herself, Rey slipped sideways through the door, food held aloft above her head to avoid dropping it as she pushed through the tiny door. Her eyes raked through the small crowd and finally spotted Finn sitting at a table in the very center of the room. She shook her head. He was so used to people and he loved to be in the middle of everything. She shuddered at the thought, but he got up and waved to her with a bright white smile and the young Jedi put aside her own misgivings.

"Hey, look at that. We've got some… What are these?" Finn held up a packet

Squinting, Rey read, "Bantha jerky. You know those big hairy creatures we saw on Tatooine?"

Finn made a face, "And here I have Correllian sausage, and Gorak," his expression of dislike deepened, "uck. I hate Gorak. Of all the things to survive Alderaan…"

Finn blanched as the words left his mouth, and Rey bit her lips, eyes wide. Both darted a quick glance around the busy room before they snorted into their food packets.

"Oh Gods, I didn't even think!"

"Open mouth and promptly insert foot, Finn. That is what you do," Rey stabbed her fork in his direction.

He shot her a perfunctory glare, before pouring water over all his rations.

"Well, aside from that, this entire meal is protein. If we don't find something better soon, we'll all die of some vitamin deficiency."

Rey tried a bit of the gorak and immediately understood her friend's complaint. The savory, sour flavor carpeted her tongue as she lowered her fork to the tray, in favor of her water.

Finn popped a large chunk of the jerky into his mouth, "You know though, I think I've gotten used to Bantha."

They ate in silence after that, letting the food regenerate their travel weary bodies. It wasn't as though they actually did much on the _Falcon_ but somehow, Rey found the stagnation even more draining than the long days spent picking clean the corpses of those great star destroyers left rotting in the Jakku desert. She knew she was not the only person who felt this way and though their desire to triumph over the seemingly insurmountable odds they now faced was undiminished, she sensed a tingle of doubt still lingering in the hearts of her fellow Resistance fighters.

"Rey?"

She blinked, turning her distant gaze on her friend. Had he said something? He must have, but try as she might, she couldn't. Rey offered him an apologetic smile and he shook his head.

"I asked how you knew the First Order was almost there?"

Rey's veins ran with ice, sending prickling chills over her skin. She could tell him the truth, although with so many people in the room, someone was bound to overhear. If not her confession then, Finn's response to it. He wasn't known for his quiet contemplation. She had no choice but to hide behind a falsehood. At least in this instance. Perhaps in the future the truth would win out. Then again, Rey wasn't sure she wanted him to know. It wasn't really fear that kept her from telling him, more the knowledge that he would simultaneously support her, and fail to understand her assertion that Ben- _Kylo_ was capable of redemption. Or, failing that, even understand her desire to attempt such a feat.

The lie, heavy on her tongue, slipped free of her lips before her train of thought had finished, "I have dreams sometimes. But they aren't dreams, they're visions."

Lines twisted Finn's brow as he stared at her, "It's cause of the Force, yeah?"

Rey nodded.

"So you have visions of… what, enemy ships and where they are?"

She sighed, guilt leaden in her stomach, "Not always. Sometimes it's just," she paused, drawing a breath as she tried to word it so it wasn't completely a lie, "A person alone."

"Why haven't you mentioned this before?"

"It's never been anything important to the Resistance," Rey shifted in her seat, "And I didn't want anyone to want anything more from me than I could give."

Finn frowned, "More than… Rey?"

Rey had risen from her seat, filled with the need to move, to fight, to do something other than sit and lie to her best friend. Finn grabbed her hand gently and pulled her attention back to him.

"What's wrong?"

Silence stretched as she held his gaze, so searching, so concerned, so…unaware of her deception. Finn would follow her to the ends of the galaxy if she asked. He had so much faith in her and in that moment, she wished she could fade away from his questions.

With a sigh, her shoulders sagged, and another falsehood wrapped in the truth collected on her tongue, "There is so much about the Force I don't understand. I shouldn't have…"

The floor of the ship was a far more welcome sight than his concerned face. The metal plates fit together almost seamlessly, yet Rey realized from experience that underneath the plate to her left was a hidden cargo hold and under the table to the left of the door was a small button to release the locking mechanism. Then, quiet suddenly, she could no longer see the floor. Finn pulled her into one of his crushing hugs, wrapping his arms so slightly around her it squeezed a smile out from the recesses of her mind. Her guilt was not forgotten, but she couldn't help but let loose a smile, just for him.

A/N- Okay, I apologize for how long this chapter took. I had an incredibly busy week (7 days of work) and I'm working on three cosplays right now in addition to going to the gym at least 4 days a week. By next year, my goal is to be as fit as Daisy Ridley, because holy heck, that girl is fit, and I am jealous. But I digress.

I realize that this chapter is not the greatest, but I've read over and edited it several times and in the interest of getting you an update, I don't want to completely scrap it. I'm going a different route, as you can see, from everyone I've read so far, in nodding to the closeness of Finn and Rey. I found it glaringly clear that they have a very close, almost romantic, attachment to one another. That might just be me; I might be reading more there. Yet, while everyone else is focusing on the introduction of Poe and Rey as a meaningful nod toward a future romance, I just can't shake the feeling that Rey was a bit jealous watching Finn take care of Rose at the end. As I said before, this story will be Reylo, but I don't like to whitewash the complexities of human relationships in order to make something easier. If I sensed it while watching the movie, it will be in the story.

Tabitha.


	5. Linen and Silk

Linen and Silk

One, tap by the side of the barrel, spin over the head down to two against the top of the shipping crate. Breathe out. Breathe in. Three, Jab back, Spin right. Breath out hard, four, as the stroke comes down on the cargo bay floor. Five, quarter turn left to parry. Strike fast to the front, six.

Rey panted, hair following sweaty rivulets down her face. She drew herself up from her wide stance, about to lay her staff against one of the empty supply crates when all sound in the room ceased.

Her skin beaded with goosebumps that had little to do with the chill that brushed against her. This wasn't supposed to be happening anymore. In the speeder, she had thought perhaps her subconscious had simply drifted while she slept, and somehow she'd found him. But this… this was the same as it had been on the island and on Crait. A vacuum to block out the rest of the world, blanketed in a hush where the Force connected them across star systems. The cargo hold about her faded and the walls that surrounded her now were a dark, unyielding steel gray. She faced a door closed firmly shut not an arm's length in front of her.

The door slid open with a metallic rush of air. His lightsaber was already lit, the hum echoing in the silence. His eyes were blacker than she'd ever seen them. For the first time since their first connection, she confessed herself truly afraid of the man before her. His rage poured off him in waves. His fury was nothing to ignore, for while many dismissed it as the tantrums of an overgrown child, it was no less dangerous. The hair at the back of her neck stood on end.

Kylo stepped into the room. Rey stumbled back. The door closed behind him. He lifted the blade until its tip pressed against her collar bone. Seering into her skin, it hissed and spit like an angry snake. Rey bit her cheek to stifle the screams that threatened to flee her throat. He didn't deserve the satisfaction. She met his eyes with a steady glare of her own.

"You," He growled, low and feral.

Gone was the calculating man she'd seen manipulating her trust in Luke, contorting her own history for his ridiculous quest for supremacy over the galaxy. This was the Kylo Ren she'd created, the one that attacked the rebels without a second thought for who might be there, the one who'd used every gun he had brought to try to obliterate Luke. He was unhinged.

Kylo pushed her back into the wall, hard. Her head hit the solid metal with a resounding thud. Her breath escaped her in a gasp. The edge of his lightsaber he held between them as he pinned her other shoulder to the wall with his gloved hand. She had a moment to observe that though they were touching, she did not feel the Force connecting them as it had before. Rey lifted her chin and set her shoulders. She met his gaze again and let her body relax. No amount of fear, anger, or pain would succeed in intimidating her, she assured herself.

She cocked her head to the side as she considered her adversary. Kylo's entire body shook under the force of his fury. His hair fell in his wild eyes and a grimace rent his face, twisting his scar grotesquely. How long their stalemate lasted, Rey couldn't have said for her it felt like both and eternity and a second.

"I could kill you."

Kylo's attention fell to his lightsaber, wavering over the taught line of her throat, the only indication she was anything but calm. He pressed the edge closer. She felt the unstable pulse of its heat.

"One little slip. One little flick of my wrist."

Her nose filled with the sent of burning fabric and she turned to the see the corner of her collar blackening in the heat of the crimson sword. He leaned closer, drawing her attention back to his face, the flutter of the blood in his temple. She drew a deep breath.

He smirked then, a cruel, sardonic, sneer that rendered his face nearly unrecognizable, "You'd be gone."

She studied him for a moment, acutely aware that he was right. Rey cursed herself for not making a better effort to sever their connection. Of course, once they found out they could touch, it was inevitable that one of them would realize they could hurt each other as well. As if to emphasize this, the saber wound on her shoulder blazed.

"But you won't."

Coolly, Rey shifted her weight, slipping a foot between his legs. There was no need to be kind anymore, but she would sooner leap from a cliff than let anger rule her. His lip curled at her remark, his fingers tightening on her shoulder until it ached.

"You're so sure of that, aren't you?"

His tone goaded, condescending to her confidence. Rey's eyes flicked away from his to the blade precariously close to her neck. Was she truly certain her choice hadn't pushed him beyond all reason?

"If you mean to kill me, then get on with it."

Her words boiled with fire. His anger flared again, she felt it surge through the force pummeling into her like the gale of a sandstorm. Kylo searched her expression, and met only calm collection, though in her eyes, she couldn't hide the pain and confusion that had plagued her since she departed the _Supremacy_.

He growled and pushed away from the wall with enough force to bruise her bones. Rey stumbled, falling to one knee, for she hadn't expected him to release her. Her breathing came in great waves as she struggled to compensate for the breath she hadn't known she had been holding. Rey flinched as he punched a table strewn with datapads. She rose to her feet as he paced, frantic footsteps carrying him from one wall to the other.

When the connection had started, Rey had had little time to realize the sheer size of the room in which she stood. It was every bit as large as the cargo bay where she'd been training, but instead of supply crate, the walls were lined with shelves of alternating databooks and weapons. _A desk then._

Rey glanced back at the datapads and wondered for a moment if she would actually be able to touch one. If she could see where he was, could she interact with his environment? Be- _Kylo's_ fast approach brought her curiosity to a grinding halt.

"I offered you the galaxy!"

Even yelling, his voice wavered.

 _His hand hovered, outstretched before her and her first instinct had been to take it out of habit. She glanced from his fingertips to his face, salty tears running over her cheeks, dripping from her chin to the bloody floor. She had begged him, could still sense the annihilation of her allies fleeing from the overwhelming First Order fleet, and yet it was his tears that stunned her. Frozen in place, her hand quivered at her side as he drew closer and added, in a voice barely more than a whisper, 'Please.'_

Rey stared first at his finger that jabbed the air before her and then up at him. Broken open, his fury became pain, deep and abiding. She had hoped, secretly, that the bond Snoke claimed to have forged, had been severed with his death, so she would never see the wounds she had opened. Her chest tightened.

She stepped closer to him, "I could never have accepted it."

Kylo closed the distance between them, "Yes, you could have."

"There was too great a cost."

"There is no cost too great."

"No amount of power is worth the loss of all you have ever cared about."

His yell echoed from the bookshelves, "You still don't get it, do you? They will leave eventually. One way or another, the traitors and thieves you call your friends will leave you."

At her side, Rey's fist was white with frustration. She felt like screaming herself.

"I couldn't betray them, like-" Rey cut herself off.

Kylo paced away from her, hands balled into fists at his sides as well, and then he rounded on her, "Like I betrayed Snoke?"

"Yes."

His chuckle was cold, humorless and sent a chill radiating through her, "And you think I killed him so that I could take his place."

Rey crossed her arms and nodded at his new attire. She hadn't taken a true look before, but Kylo's thick black tunic and pants had been traded for a lightered, more refined, linen and silk set of robes. It was nothing so senatorial as Snoke's gold robe, but the new clothing announced his supremacy in a way his apprentice robes could never have. His gaze followed hers, flickering downward over himself.

"What am I to think when I ask you to save the Resistance, when I beg you to come with me and all you can do is stare at a throne and tell me to 'let the past die?'"

Her gaze fell to the floor, drifting over the shelves behind him, until finally, she could meet his eyes with fire restored.

"What about when I find out the entire First Order wants me dead, holds me responsible for Snoke's death?"

"You are responsible," he interjected, the assurance in his voice somehow quieting it.

Rey studied him again, searching his face for any indication of how he had come to this conclusion. Again and again, he blamed decisions that he regretted on those around him. But this, killing his own father he had at least admitted, but by the Force, how had he come to the conclusion Snoke's death was her fault.

"It wasn't me that ignited that lightsaber."

He shook his head and ran a hand over his face. Rey had never seen him look so human. Despite the anger coursing through him, despite the pain, she felt that deep conflict within him shift. Roiling to a volatile boil before his frustration peaked.

"Do you imagine I would have made the same choice had he not asked me to kill you?"

Rey's lips parted in surprise yet nothing but silence escaped them. Whatever words she might have said were swept away on a tide of disbelief, though, she could sense no deception in him. Not that she had then either, and still he betrayed her trust.

The blue of the cargo bay lights washed the color from her skin as the hum of the _Falcon's_ hyperdrive engine filled her ears yet again. Like coming up for air, after sinking beneath the waves, Rey's ears crackled with sounds. It was all too loud, too sudden. Mouth still open, she sucked a deep breath into her chest and glanced around her. No one had come into the cargo bay, or if they had, they hadn't been any the wiser to what had really been going on. Or had she even been there at all?

Her staff leaned against the supply crates where she'd left it, and Rey grabbed for the object to ground her, only to cry out in pain. Fire burned through her shoulder and up her neck and the twinging of the nerves, which she had ignored during her encounter with Kylo, hit her full force.

She'd never been wounded by a lightsaber before. The pain was far worse than she had ever imagined it could be. Shaking, Rey pressed her other hand to the wound and felt the bruised bones of her should creak in protest. She would have to wear something more covering while these healed.

"There you are!"

Rey jumped and crossed her arms so the collar of her shirt covered the burn. She buried her grimace deep in the recesses of her mind, another drop in her well of secrets. Poe rounded the corner and stopped, hanging in the doorframe of the cargo bay.

"I've been looking everywhere for you," he commented as she approached him, "The general wants everyone in the mess."

Concern knotted Rey's shoulders and darkened her face, "Did she say why?"

She joined Poe and they hurried along the _Falcon's_ corridors.

"No, but she didn't look worried enough for it to be bad."

a/n- My delay in posting and finishing this chapter is inexcusable. After reading and editing it extensively, the conversation between Rey and Kylo needed careful attention, I have decided to leave it this short length. There is no sense in forcing more words into a chapter as well rounded as this. I hope you enjoyed and that you will leave a review.


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